Mobsters of the Midway

Is Tinsel Town headed to Chi-town?

Again?

The ongoing "Family Secrets" trial at the Dirksen Federal Building is a modern day mob soap opera with a son, a mistress and a brother taking the stand against reputed mobsters.

The trial has all the guns and gore associated with Hollywood blockbusters:

• Murders
• Bribes
• Extortion ("street tax")
• Police protection
• Turncoats
• Mafia mistresses

Top-notch producers and directors are sitting in on the trail this week in an effort to quench their desire to morph the mob into a star-studded script, according to radio reports buzzing through Chicago.

Think Casino, The Godfather, GoodFellas. Think of the proscecutor who reminded us all that this trial is real life - and not the movies. But, before these poaching producers descended on Dearborn Steet at the Dirksen Building, mob movie casting was already underway on Clark Street at the Medill News Service.

Endless casting meetings, headshot reviews and late night brainstorming led to the creation of the elite eight—the seasoned stars that will bring “Mobsters of the Midway” [our working title] to the big screen.

Cast suggestions:

Danny DeVito as flamboyant criminal defense attorney Joe Lopez. DeVito needs to ditch his dull duds and shop at Lopez's colorful clothing store! Oh and Danny, think about a tan.

Woody Harrelson as the 47-year old Frank Calabrse Jr., the "rat" son of alleged mafia hitman Frank Calabrese Sr. Harrelson should transfrom himself into this khaki wearing prince by only shopping for dockers and donning a walking cane. Note to Woody: Get a thick Chi-town accent ASAP!

Daniel Craig as Nick Calabrese, the brother of alleged hitman FRank Calabrese Sr. Craig has just enough tough skin to pull playing the part of Nick testifying against his own brother. Remember Casino Royale.

Donald Sutherland as Joey "the Clown" Lombardo. Seeing that Sutherland is no newcomer to playing brutish characters, he will need little pre-production preparation. Oh and Don, don't shave, go shabby!

J.E. Freeman to portray mobster and alleged killer James Marcello. Freeman should just keep up his scary look and look to his previous roles as killers and lunatics for guidance.

Paul Sorvino as reputed mobster Frank Calabrese Sr. Sorvino, a mob movie veteran who is Italian, will know how to play a reputed killer.

Jennifer Garner as fiesty rookie reporter Jacqueline A. Ingles. Garner will have to retrieve her sassy attitude from Alias to portray this firecracker.

George Hamilton as the overly tan and pompous ABC 7 investigative reporter Chuck Goudie.

Thanks to Jacqueline A. Ingles