Is "Joe the Plumber" Connected?

Last Wednesday night, Joe the Plumber became an instant household word as he was mentioned numerous times by both presidential candidates, especially John McCain. Initial research identified the man as Joe Wurzelbacher of Toledo, Ohio, who spoke briefly with Senator Barack Obama at a political rally.

However, the Post Times Sun Dispatch has learned for a reliable source that John McCain’s Joe the Plumber is in really Joseph “the plumber” Balducci, a 42-year-old wanted for questioning by Cleveland police in connection with the bombing of a voting machine warehouse on Euclid Avenue, the wiping off of thousands of names from the voting roles in heavily Democratic counties in Ohio, and for intimidation of minority voters. Balducci along with Anthony “Tony the fixer” LaMonica are suspected of carrying out the orders of Mafia boss Leonardo Cardi to fix the election in Ohio in favor of Republican candidates.

“No wonder McCain’s tax plan works for Joe the Plumber and Obama’s doesn’t,” said Senator Joe Biden, “it’s payback for Balducci and gang for unclogging the political pipes for the Republicans, if you know what I mean.”

McCain denied the charge saying Joe “was just an ordinary plumber making $2.8 million a year, or was I supposed to say that Joe?”

Mr. Balducci refused to talk with the Post Times Sun Dispatch but informed the paper by an anonymous call that if the owners of the publication wanted to keep their kneecaps operating properly, they should "forgetaboutit.”

Satire Courtesy of R.J. Shulman