Top Ten Ways Rod Blagojevich Can Improve His Image

10 Star in new television series, "America's Funniest Haircuts"

9. Quit politics and become a fat, lovable mall cop

8. Start pronouncing last name with Jerry Lewis-like "BLAGOOOOYYYYYJEVICH"

7. Offer a senate seat with no money down, zero percent interest

6. Team up with John Malkovich and Erin Brockovich for hot Malkovich-Brockovich-Blagojevich sex tape

5. Change his name to Barod Obamavich

4. Safely land an Airbus on the Hudson River

3. I don't know...how about showing up for his impeachment trial?

2. Wear sexy dresses, high heels and say, "You Betcha!"

1. Uhhh...resign?